I realize no one is reading this... but, nonetheless, it is good for me to keep writing. It keeps me accountable knowing its out there.
I drank friday night. I'm not sure why. And I knew I was going to even at 3pm. I drank with my husband, and then more, by myself. I'm not happy with myself about that.
I was good both sat and sunday night though. And I'm feeling GOOD about it too. I'm liking waking up without a headache and fully aware of everything that happened and was said the night before. We have no major events in the coming weeks. I have no excuses. I am going to keep going. I'm definitely getting better at just not having the first one. At one point last week I was cooking chicken piccatta (sp?) which has white wine in it. I bought the wine for it. I used it in the recipe.
And I stared at that bottle. I stared at it like it was a pot of gold.
"I could finish this." ran through my head. and then...
"I could just have one glass, that wouldnt be bad....." and then...
"but I'm going to polish that whole thing off if I get started....."
"how many calories are in that bottle... alot. and I just ate a freaking block of blue cheese because I thought I deserved it because I'm not drinking.... "
and then I put it in the fridge and pulled myself away from the kitchen.
even though I did finish it the next night, I am learning. I can put it down and walk away. Eventually the craving goes away. that is a good lesson.
